she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
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Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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