i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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