dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize