WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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