it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
