It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
