i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
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Another day, another engagement, another cat
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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