She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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