I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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