Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
