But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
