Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
