I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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