The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
