history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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