Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
