You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
