dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
