I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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