I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Vodka?
Forever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
