The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
