I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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