so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
