College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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