but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
