"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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