There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
