Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
