I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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