May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize