After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
