party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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