EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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