U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
