omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
