Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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