did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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