i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
