I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
