we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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