What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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