i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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