the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
try to milk me bitch
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