y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
