Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
