It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize