first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
