the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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