Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
