Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
