All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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