someone threw a dead crab at me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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