If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize