Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
