I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
