So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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