your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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