wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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