i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just tell him i said nine months
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
