Your tits are I can't wait for
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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