Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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