hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
